We embraced the lockdown
Half the people we know didn't believe in the virus, the other half didn't think it was that big a deal. As one of the people who already had the infection at the beginning of the pandemic, precisely because of others' selfish behavior and the need to visit even when they felt sick, I wasn't eager to meet anyone in fear of contracting the virus again. It is part of our culture to go around and visit everyone you know, have drinks, hang out regularly even if you feel under the weather because people believe that the flu is 'just' the flu and they don't care if they transmit it to other people. Same went for the new virus. If you are afraid of it, you are pathetic, if you tell them to stop visiting, they are insulted because how can they possibly be contagious when they are your family/friends? That attitude caused me and my close family so much stress. There was no way to convince them that not seeing them was safer for both sides and was not insulting. So, when the lockdown came, we were so relieved we didn't have to come up with more excuses as to why we can't go to a birthday party or dinner with 20 other people amidst the pandemic. As if we needed an excuse for that, but this is Serbia. We could finally rest at home, alone, with so much less stress. And before someone thinks we should have told people to stop coming - we did. They kept ignoring our wishes. Those who didn't got very angry and stopped talking with us altogether. And I am talking about close family, not some distant relatives, they were parents, brothers, sisters. I can't wait for another lockdown because everyone is behaving as if there is no pandemic and are genuinely surprised when I say I don't want to go to a wedding or a dinner party.
Made pancakes today. The only joy I had today. And a short walk to the shop was comforting. I live alone. Feels like a prison now in isolation. Trying to make some sense out of this turmoil. Miss meeting people. Miss the banter around coffee machine at work. Miss costa coffee smell. Miss Fridays pubs. Miss my life. I don't think I'm handling this isolation very well. It's too long now. Actually I'm sad. So sad. Wish I could talk to someone about...Read more...